Well today wasn't gonna go well for me today....... Zack who is my youngest said point blank he wasn't going to Scotland with his Father to visit his Grandad, so early this morning the crying started!!! Now Ben is usually the one that I have problems with but today it was always gonna be my baby.
Zack protested about getting dressed knowing we where having to leave at 10.30am, so I convinced him that we could pop over the shop and grab some boiled sweets for there flight to Scotland. We returned and I ushered them in to the car for our journey to our meeting point in Guildford, conveniently the car park we met in had a Burger King, we proceeded to enter the establishment which became very difficult with a 6 year old hung on to my leg, not wanting me to leave. I tried to choose a convenient time to leave but it never came, so it came down to me telling both my boys how much I love them, and asking their dad to put them in the car, Ben gave me a kiss and got in the car, now Zack it was so different, he screamed, he kicked and he screamed some more, cars stopped and watched as his dad bundled him in to the car and drove off, I had to follow them out of the car park at a distance, but poor Zack was still kicking and screaming. I cried all the way home, and I felt so awful I threw up, my heart ached and still does, the emotional pain was something I had never ever witnessed before, he really didn't want to go, and I have promised myself I will never ever make my kids to anything they don't want to do every again!! But this was slightly different, 1stly I need a break as I have my kids, like a lot of people in my situation 24/7 on my own, and very rarely get the opportunity to have a couple of days or hours away from them, and 2ndly they Grandad had asked to see them, he isn't very well, he has the dreaded C, and it pains me to think that this will be the last time my two will see him. He is such an amazing man and it upsets me thinking that my kids will not know all about Grandads Travels and experiences so it was valuable for both of them to go through the pain today to see there Grandad.
After a couple of coffees this afternoon I feel a little better, but the knotting in my stomach is still there and will be till they come back at 7.30am on Sat Morning
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